


lost and found

by suhpremacy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Cheating, Emotional Hurt, Implied Mpreg, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mentioned Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Mentioned Mark Lee (NCT), Someone save Jaehyun, im sorry i made yuta an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suhpremacy/pseuds/suhpremacy
Summary: jaehyun only wanted to experience love.and he did with a married man.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 17
Kudos: 68





	lost and found

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone!! i'd be very forward here, this work contains a scenario depicting relationship physical abuse, and i will be referencing from time to time that there's domestic violence going on, so if you're uncomfortable, please don't read this! i don't want to trigger any of you <3
> 
> also, both johnny and jaehyun are married in this fic! (jaehyun to yuta, johnny to ten) and this whole fic revolves around cheating so...

If you lose something and it comes back for you, then the skies have decided you are meant to be together.

The skies have always been cruel with fate. Jaehyun likes to think it’s because that the skies and the heavens always had this power over them, he likes to think that their lives aren’t entirely their own but borrowed from a higher power. If the skies say that this person isn’t meant for you, even if you feel like they complete you, the only choice left for you is to leave. Cross paths and maybe if the heavens allow it, meet again.

Jaehyun likes to think he’s religious. As far as he’s concerned, he’s living and lived a life as far from sin, astray from all the possible evil. He goes to church every sunday with his husband, who he serves dutifully as a house husband. His mother always told him serving God will somehow make God forgive him for choosing a life so sinful (she means being  _ gay _ ), so serving a church that accepts gay couples alongside with Yuta makes him feel better about his life.

_ Living a life so sinful, _ his mother would say,  _ is a one way ticket to hell, my dear son. Don’t do anything that would require you to repent. _

He comes out, anyways, and so he gets disowned, and he meets Yuta, then marries him straight away. 

Jaehyun met Yuta as a cafe owner’s son in Osaka on a paid business trip. He was behind the counter with his register apron, hair tied in a low ponytail with all the disheveled strands tucked behind his ear. He looks intimidating with a shaved line on his left eyebrow, almost too intimidating that Jaehyun’s almost scared to approach him, but the warm smile that radiates light makes him forget all about it.

And he loved it. Jaehyun loves that, Jaehyun loves everything. It’s his brand. He loves his mother and father, sends them regards even if he was clearly disowned and his parents shame themselves for bringing such a child that grew up to be him. He loves the stray cats that hang around their front yard every day, even going as far as buying them canned cat food. He loves the flowers that Yuta brings him home when he apologizes, watering the stems to make them last as long as possible.

“That must be why you’re born on Valentine's Day, darling,” Yuta would tell him, cooing him up. “Because you are to be born on the day of love.”

But he wonders if this, whatever was going on in his life right now, is still considered on the right side of love. Jaehyun is not a perfect man, he’s a weak man, and he admits that he’s a sinner, but he thinks that whatever this is, this is his one way ticket to hell that his mother was talking about.

He loves everything. He’s a loving and lovable man.

That’s how he ends up in a married man’s sheets, crying out for his name, lips trailing wetly on his happy trail, his teeth digging on his shoulders, his hair crumpled in Johnny’s fist. His polo is unbuttoned and his hips are bruised with Johnny’s fingers, thighs with blooming purples and bites. He knows it’s wrong. He knows it’s a sin.

_No wonder Lucifer fell._ No one told him sin felt this good.

He comes with Johnny’s name spilling out his mouth, tears rolling down his cheeks. He doesn’t know why he’s crying- because it feels too good, because he’s too happy, because he’s too wallowed up in the euphoria, or because he’s sleeping with a married man.

“Jae, Jae, Jaehyun,” Johnny cooes, holding the back of his head. “Jaehyun, baby, are you with me?”

Jaehyun doesn’t answer him, but he lets out a sob, and he holds on to Johnny tighter he’s positive his fingernails dig crescents on to Johnny’s thighs. The pain is sharp, but Johnny ignores him and continues to softly pet Jaehyun’s head. 

“Jaehyun-”

“I’m so sorry,” Jaehyun cries, letting his head fall to the side, pillow muffling his voice. He throws up his arm to shield his eyes and face in embarrassment, and in a shit attempt to avoid seeing Johnny’s confusion. “Johnny, I’m so sorry.”

“Wh-”

“I’m a homewrecker,” Jaehyun sobs even more. Johnny shifts his position as well, lying comfortably beside Jaehyun, trying to calm him down.

“Jaehyun,” Johnny says brokenly, sighing deeply. No, he doesn’t think that Jaehyun is a homewrecker-- he definitely doesn’t and will never degrade Jaehyun down to that, but they certainly were both wrong here.

If Jaehyun was stupid to lust over a married man, so was Johnny to give in to that temptation. It’s not entirely Jaehyun’s fault. 

“I’m so sorry,” Jaehyun continues to sob into his arms, and in a desperate attempt to calm him down, Johnny pulls him in for a hug; the wet, tear-stained cheeks pressed warmly to Johnny’s bare chest. 

“I put you in a difficult situation, have I?” Johnny cooed, kissing Jaehyun’s head. “We both did.”

“This is wrong,” Jaehyun cries out roughly, and for a second, Johnny tensed up. “This is so wrong, we shouldn’t be doing this.”

_ This is it,  _ Johnny breathes out shakily, tightening his grip and holds onto Jaehyun as he sobs even more.  _ This is the end of it. _

“But I can’t stop,” Jaehyun’s raspy voice comes out again, followed with his soft sniffles. Soon enough Johnny feels the warm arms of Jaehyun wrapped back around him. “I can’t let you go, I love- I-”

“Shh, it’s fine, it’s okay,” Johnny rocks him even more.

_ I love you. _

_ I love you. _

_ I love you. _

“I love you,” Jaehyun breathes it out, pressing his face harder on Johnny’s chest. He’s hoping hard, he’s praying to God he doesn’t say it back.

“I love you too, Jae.”

But he does.

And he cries, because even if he’s happy, he knows he found it in the wrong way.

Jaehyun thinks it’s too late to start praying for repentance, because he’s not even sorry and he’s in too deep in the thick river of sin.

The problem with perfection is that it’s an illusion. There really isn’t anything that exists in this world that’s perfect, every single one at least has some kind of fuck up deep down in them.

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Johnny Suh proves that to be true. He really seems to be the most perfect, attainable child to ever exist. When he was a kid, his mother loved to boast him around-- because truly, he was the perfect child; he ate well, grew well, studied well, and he’s pretty. His mother always told him that when he smiles and his eyes disappear into a fine line, sparkles seemingly come out of his aura. 

He’s the perfect intern. Graduating from the University of Chicago as Magna Cum Laude in Photography, only to be love called by one of the biggest art studios in Chicago to work as an intern to them- and in a year he gets accepted and promoted to one of the regular photographers around, never missing a good shot, always present to meetings, a deadline-abiding employee. Any studio would kill to have Johnny Suh working for them.

And he  _ was  _ the perfect husband. He meets him in the same art studio he worked for, but in a totally different department. Ten was an illustrator, but Johnny always called him  _ his  _ idea factory. Ten always has an eye for true art, and Johnny was there to capture it. Whatever Johnny captures, Ten draws. 

In 2 years, he marries Ten, and less than a year he’s blessed with Ten having twins, Mark and Donghyuck. He’s the perfect father. When Ten was too tired to get up to coo either one of the twins who decided it was a good idea to cry at the wee hours, Johnny is quick to stand up even if sleep licks on his eyelids and cradles them back to sleep. He’s strong enough to rock both of them to sleep simultaneously, he’s got tremendous patience when it comes to kids (so unlike Ten who had a mental breakdown in the midst of teaching Donghyuck how to read). 

He was the perfect husband.

Was.

Because obviously, all perfection is thrown out the window the moment he falls in the deep waterfall of infidelity. When he catches the eye and indulges in a sight of the temptation named Jung Yoonoh.

No,  _ Nakamoto Yoonoh. _

“What’s going on in your head?” Johnny asks him sweetly as he hands Jaehyun his own cup of coffee, staring out at the big window glass pane of their rented hotel room. 

Normally, this would be Johnny’s favorite part when he’s with Jaehyun-- when he’s dressed with nothing but a bathrobe and boxers, hair softly ruffled, waiting for Johnny to give him his coffee, but today was different. Jaehyun seemed troubled.

“Who do you love more, Johnny?” Jaehyun asks sadly, voice still raspy from yesterday’s events. “Me or Ten?”

Johnny blinks, both in confusion and the suddenness. 

“Just tell me the honest answer,” Jaehyun closes his eyes excruciatingly slow. He knows Johnny loves Ten more than he’s loved by him. He’s not the one he married. He’s not the one he has kids with. Johnny didn’t choose him. “I need to hear it.”

“You,” Johnny answers truthfully, sitting right in front of Jaehyun who hiccups from the answer, brows furrowing. “I love you.”

“No,” Jaehyun breathes out, putting his coffee on a flat surface. “Stop, you weren’t supposed to answer me-”

“Who do you love more then, Jaehyun? Me or Yuta?”

“You know damn well that doesn’t apply to you,” Jaehyun’s voice breaks, his hands quick to grip his hair in frustration. 

“Why not?” Johnny raises a brow almost too provocatively.

“Because- because he hurts me,” Jaehyun’s voice quivers again before looking up at Johnny. “You know it. You’ve seen the bruises. Of course I love you more. But I don’t- I don’t deserve-”

“Baby, you do deserve to be loved,” Johnny sets his coffee aside to hug Jaehyun now, to calm him down again. “You deserve all the love in the world, Jaehyun.”

“Not from you,” Jaehyun replies shakily. “Not from a married man. Not from a father of an established family.”

Johnny squeezes his eyes shut. He wants to tell Jaehyun that it’s fine, everything’s gonna be okay, but he hates lying. He doesn’t want to tell Jaehyun things that he knows that’s not gonna happen. They’re not gonna be fine, they both know it. Inevitably, they’ll break up, it’s a set time bomb. 

“Run away with me,” Johnny whispers, which has Jaehyun’s eyes widening, pushing Johnny off him.

“Are you fucking crazy?!”

“Crazy for you.”

“No, shut the fuck up, John,” Jaehyun gulps, tears welling in his eyes. “No. You are not like me. You come home to a husband that loves you very much, to two-”

“Wrong,” Johnny chuckles, looking at the floor. “You’d be surprised at how wrong you are.”

Jaehyun stills for a while until the soft whirring of the air conditioner and Johnny’s chuckles fill the room, sadly bouncing off the walls. Out of all the times Jaehyun spent his seconds with Johnny, he’s never seen him like this.

He reeks with disappointment.

“Some good things aren’t just supposed to last, I guess,” Johnny smiles, biting his lip regretfully before looking up at Jaehyun. Somehow, a sentence already explained everything going around in his life, and he’s eternally grateful Jaehyun gets him. “So please, please, please, Jae- run away with me.”

“Like- like a disney princess?” Jaehyun giggles, wiping off his forming tears. The smile on Jaehyun’s face and the dimples boring into his cheeks were enough to make Johnny return it all back, hugging him one more time. “Are you gonna be my Flynn Rider?”

“You don’t have that much hair, though,” Johnny ruffles Jaehyun’s dyed hair, indulging his scent. “Not as long as Rapunzel’s.”

“You are  _ not  _ climbing by my hair, Mr. Seo,” Jaehyun warningly puts up a finger and presses it down on Johnny’s lips, staring at his almond eyes. “Elevators exist.”

“Mhm,” Johnny smiles against Jaehyun’s finger before swatting it away, pressing his own lips onto Jaehyun. “Note taken.”

Jaehyun knows it’s selfish. It’s selfish to think of himself only, it’s selfish that Yuta doesn’t come across his mind, but the most selfish thing was that he forgot that Johnny had kids-- two innocent kids, and he’s taking away their father from them.

All because he wanted to be loved back.

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“Where have you been?” Yuta asks him the moment he swings the door of their house open. 

If this was a normal circumstance, or in the likely day that Jaehyun isn’t high on euphoria right now, he would be scared. He always is. Living with him was like walking on eggshells. 

“Mall, spent the night over at the Kims,” Jaehyun sighed contentedly, walking over to Yuta, sitting beside him on their couch. “Have you forgotten, babe? It’s our night out.”

“Hm,” Yuta hums, quirking a brow upwards.

If there’s anything that Jaehyun is good at, it’s definitely lying. He developed the skill around his parents, to his classmates, and soon, to Yuta. When things get a little bit handful, or he’s faced with a situation that leaves him no space but a consequence of his really stupid action, he does the thing he’s best at.

_ Lying is a sin, Yoonoh!  _ He would hear his mother say at the back of his brain.  _ Don’t do anything that would make you repent. _

The Kims-- or mostly known as Kim Doyoung and Taeyong, were his best friends. He met Taeyong in college, where he was already dating Doyoung at that time-- and they got along pretty fine until now. They definitely don’t agree with Jaehyun's whole setup of using them as an alibi to meet up with his secret lover, but it’s the lesser evil compared to Yuta giving him bruises and welts as gifts. Jaehyun’s overwhelmed with the amount of begging he had to do to help him out with his Johnny situation, but miracles happen and they give in, anyway.

_ “Just for the record, I don’t approve of this, and I hate this situation, and you’re stupid,” Doyoung spat out at Jaehyun, earning a heavy sigh from the man. _

_ “When has Yoonoh been good at making decisions?” Taeyong jokes around, but Jaehyun doesn’t laugh. _

When has Jaehyun really been good at making decisions, anyway?

Because he certainly remembers it was him who decided to marry Yuta, and it’s his current decision that endangered him, his position, his life, a happy family, all because he’s greedy for someone’s touch, for someone’s real love.

“Could’ve told me,” Yuta mumbles, something that Jaehyun didn’t quite catch, because the next thing he does catch is a loud slap on his face, enough to make him fall over. “Let’s start this over again,  _ peach,  _ where have you been?”

“Mall,” Jaehyun squeaks out, hands trembling as he tries to crawl backwards, anything, just to get away from Yuta. “Yuta, please.. I was at the- at the mall.. I went looking for a new stovetop, I-”

“That’s where you’re good at, aren’t you, my darling?” Yuta squats down to Jaehyun’s level, running a hand up on where he previously hit his face. “Spending hubby’s money on something we absolutely don’t need.”

Jaehyun hopes he has the privilege to even let out a sigh of relief, because he gulps it back down when it’s about to escape his lips, and instead he forces them to smile, lips curling upwards in such faux manner it’s enough for Jaehyun to make him puke if he sees himself.

“What do you say about Netflix, peach?” Yuta says, landing back up on his feet; and Jaehyun hates it-- because it’s unfair- how can Yuta be back on his feet so easily as if he’s done nothing wrong?

“I think you should set it up,” Jaehyun continues to smile. “I’ll be right up there.”

_ Just a little more,  _ Jaehyun exhales shakily, his eyes closed, forcing his senses to calm down.  _ A little more and I’ll be with my runaway prince. _

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The day before it happens, he’s already had three luggages all packed and safe-keeped by the Kims, who, again, have expressed their  _ strong  _ dislike and disagreement with the plan, especially on Johnny’s side.

_ “He has kids, Jaehyun!” Taeyong screams at an obviously sobbing Jaehyun, frantically trying to pack up as much stuff he can from his house. He doesn’t know the words to try and convince them to help him one last time. “Kids! Jaehyun, I can’t let-” _

_ “I don’t fucking know anymore, Taeyong!” Jaehyun screams back, aggressively wiping off the tears from his cheeks. “But I can’t stay in this godforsaken house anymore. I can’t- I can’t live with  that  man anymore. I can’t live with Yuta anymore, and I’ll do everything,  everything-” _

_ “But this is just fucked up, Jae,” Taeyong rebuts at him, helplessness laced in his tone. “You’re dragging in kids in a situation for grownups. The Jaehyun I know would never let this happen.” _

_ “Taeyong, I’m begging you,” Jaehyun kneels, lips quivering. His eyes were so watery he could barely see, vision blurring out just like any coherency and decency he has left in his body. “The Jaehyun you know will die if I stay here. I’ll die, and if I don’t leave, I’ll-- I’m afraid- I’m scared of what I’ll do to myself, what I-” _

_ Jaehyun’s desperate. _

_ Everyone knew that. _

_ “God, I’m going to hell,” Taeyong inhales sharply, only to exhale it out abruptly. “Fine. Okay. Okay. Oh God, Jaehyun, why’d you have to marry such a monster?” _

And that’s how he ends up fixing his beret, leaving a note to Yuta (presumably, the last note he’ll ever leave) saying  _ “just left..”,  _ and Jaehyun thinks it’s a perfect note. It could mean he’s left for good, or left for a minute, or just left. Yuta would never know, and by the time he does, Jaehyun’s safe.

He grips his messenger bag and is ready to leave to meet Johnny by their usual meeting spot, the bus stop where everyone’s too common from each other to identify to a stranger’s eye, but the door rings. He assumes it’s the neighbors again who’d like to hand them again their homemade baked cookies (picked up baking as a hobby, and Jaehyun’s too kind to tell them to stop, because it tastes like barf), so he sighs contentedly, maybe bid them goodbye too and pack the (barf) cookies with him, share them with Johnny, eat away all the memories of the past.

Jaehyun wishes it’s just his neighbor with the cookies, because nothing could prepare him to see his  _ boyfriend’s husband,  _ on his front porch, with a cardigan Jaehyun swore he peeled off Johnny on a rather eventful night.

He’s never seen Ten, only in pictures he’s never meant to see. He’s only seen Ten in Johnny’s past lock screen, the one where he’s caught in the background while the main focus lies on Mark and Donghyuck smiling on a field. He’s seen Ten in the past pictures Johnny carries (or used to, whatever), but never personally.

And he could see why Johnny married Ten. His skin glows, his eyes resembling a cat, his hands slim and delicate. He’s gorgeous, lovable, and Jaehyun could see exactly why Johnny loved him. Loves, loved, Jaehyun doesn’t know, it doesn’t matter.

“Do I know you?” He tries to play dumb, but the apparent gulp lining on his throat lies. He expects to have his beret ripped off and a punch landing on his face, but instead, he smiles.

“Ten Suh, Johnny’s husband,” Ten softly smiles, eyes looking past Jaehyun, trying to peek inside his house. “May I come in?”

“Sure,” Jaehyun doesn’t fight it. He knows that Ten knows. He wonders if Johnny knows that, too. “Uhm, I-”

“I’ll cut this short,” Ten exhales, sitting formally on their couch. “Jaehyun, right?”

He keeps mum, lips pursed by a fine line, giving Ten the firmest nod he could give. He feels frozen, time is ticking, what would Yuta think about another man inside their house? What about Johnny, is he by the bus stop now? His luggages at Taeyong, they can’t keep waiting-

“I knew for a little while what’s happening with my husband,” Ten spoke calmly, sighing. “And to be frank.. I don’t-- I can see why he did it. We haven’t been exactly.. Happy? I mean, we were, but.. Good things never seem to stay in life, don’t they?”

Jaehyun stills silently. He can see the sadness from Ten’s eyes, but it doesn’t come from the hurt or the betrayal of infidelity. It’s as if he was recalling something, it’s disappointment to what they’ve become. He sees it in his eyes every morning when he sees the mirror, too. 

“I might have loved Johnny,” Ten continues. “I think I still do, maybe, but it’s not enough. Whatever’s love left inside of me, I know it’s the same for Johnny, but it’s not enough to salvage our marriage. I knew inevitably, we weren’t going to stay long, anyways, but-- I didn’t expect him to.. Do something like this.”

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun croaks out, voice small. He’s hurt. He’s hurt that he’s hurt Ten in his own greed for love. He’s hurt because this is what he’s become, all the selfishness possessing his body turning him into a new man. He’d back out, but he doesn’t want to, and he’s in too deep. 

“I wasn’t talking about cheating, Jaehyun,” Ten sadly smiles again. “I was talking about running away.”

Cue Jaehyun’s heavy breathing, cold sweat trickling on his back. Of course he knew.  _ Why would he be here if he didn’t, then? _

“I knew for quite some time he’s been planning on it, just never knew he’d act out on it,” Ten added. “He doesn’t know that I know, so he’s probably in somewhere you both agreed you’d meet at. I can’t stop him, I know my husband too well to know he’s set and he’s unstoppable. But I was hoping maybe I could stop you.”

_ No,  _ Jaehyun wants to scream. The clock ticks ever so fastly and his world spins.  _ You’re not gonna stop me from leaving here. I planned this well. I tried so hard. I will not see another day with Yuta again. _

Ten reads the expression. The expression of denial and horror. He sees that Jaehyun would rather die than to stay behind, but he could see the rational version of his mind take over, his morals slowly snapping back.

“I’m a father, Jaehyun,” Ten says simply. “I have two sons who have no idea what’s happening right now. They think their daddy is a superhero, they think their daddy really is just leaving for a vacation. I love my kids to death, and I’d do everything for them. I know Johnny does too, maybe he forgets for a moment, but he’s a good father. I know my husband is far too gone for you to return him back to me, but I was hoping you could bring back the father of my children. I’m begging you.”

The emotions his words hold seems calm, but the gravity that pulls it down weighs Jaehyun, and the desperation. They both are driven by love to desperation, but Jaehyun knows it to himself that his love for Johnny is nothing compared to what Ten has in his heart for his kid. Ten went to his husband’s affair’s household, begged him to stay behind and not take Johnny away from his kids, with complete disregard to his pride.

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun says firmly this time. “I’m sorry I did this to your family.”

“Temptation is not a sin,” Ten stands up, but it isn’t intimidating. “But the one who gives into it is a sinner. You played your part, but it’s definitely my husband’s decision to give into such is what leads us right here.”

He wants to apologize more and more and more, he wants to meet Mark and Donghyuck, apologize to them for attempting to do such a thing, he wants to meet Johnny, apologize to him for leaving him behind-

When Ten leaves, he rushes to the sad landline no one uses anymore, not that because it’s irrelevant, but because Jaehyun’s afraid of Yuta’s suspections of infidelity over a million names in a phonebook-- but this time his fingers are quick to dial the Kims’ number. The ringing is pain to Jaehyun’s ears, the clock spins too fast and any minute by the telephone is a risk to Jaehyun, but he really needs to talk-

“Hi, Kim Residence, how can I help you?” It was Doyoung’s voice that greeted him, and he’s happy that it’s him, because he’s unsure if he could handle Taeyong right now.

“I didn’t leave,” Jaehyun says, barely a whisper. His hands are sweaty and clammy, he gulps and gulps. “I’m not leaving.”

Doyoung pauses. He doesn’t know if he should be happy, because Jaehyun regained a sense of morality, or he should be mad at Jaehyun for choosing to stay in Yuta’s household despite knowing it’ll kill him someday. So he doesn’t say anything.

And so does Jaehyun, because the next thing he does is gulp down again and hang the phone up, and that’s the only time where he felt his lungs expanding again, breathing in air that felt so withdrawn from him.

He decided he’s sorry for a lot of things, and his apologies are meaningless to people who fail to see the root of what he’s truly apologetic for.

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If he could meet the Jaehyun that existed 5 years ago and told him that he found the strength to divorce Yuta, slapped the ever living shit out of him when he tried to hold him back from leaving, then proceeded to get his luggages from the Kims, funneled every cash he has into one account, bought an apartment in Chicago, and is now working as a freelance model, he would laugh at his face and tell him to wake up from his pipe dream.

The fun part is, it isn’t. This isn’t a pipe dream anymore, and it’s very much real-- the skylines of Chicago from his high rise apartment and the thick smell of sea and traffic, the horns and the wailing that comes with it is enough to prove that it is. 

He doesn’t come to see Johnny that day. He doesn’t tell Johnny anything, leaving him alone in the bus stop where his car waits for him. He dresses up back in his in house clothes, sits on the same old sofa, waits for Yuta to come home, until he’s beaten again for forgetting to cook dinner. He accepts it so gracefully-- because he thinks he deserves it, he deserves it for even trying to run away, he deserves it for being so selfish. 

But he gets fed up with it. He may deserve something horrible coming at his way for being a selfish person, but the abuse has to stop. He doesn’t deserve to be hurt this way, and he learns it late, not too late to walk up and file a divorce, though. Yuta hits him for the last time, Leaving a farewell bruise on his cheekbone, but this time, Jaehyun hits back and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel good.

He thinks of Johnny every day. He remembers him when he glances out the window, remembering their little facades in hotel, their post-sex morning coffee. He remembers his smile, he remembers how Jaehyun sees the sun in him, warm and bright; but all he does is think about him. He hears from Taeyong that he’s heard that Ten and Johnny got a divorce a year after the situation, leaving Ten with Mark, and Johnny with Donghyuck. 

He wonders about Ten, sometimes. _How is he holding up?_ If he knew that Johnny wasn’t going to stay for much long, why hold him back?

_ Too much wallowing for the past,  _ Jaehyun hisses, shaking his head in attempt to dry his hair, droplets still falling off by the strands as he presses down on the gas pedal.  _ I’m late for my meeting, my manager will kill me- _

So Jaehyun presses harder on the gas pedal, trying to chase the stoplight counting down to 10. He’s never heard his car’s engine purr this hard, and he’s definitely off the speed limit now, but he could barely care. When the stoplight drops to a bright red, his foot shifts so fast to brakes he almost skids- body lurching forward, almost hitting the wheel.

“Oh, fucking hell!” Jaehyun curses out loud, looking by his passenger seat to grab the towel he brought along with him to dry his hair on the ride. He straightens it out and ruffles his hair with it, the stoplight agonizingly slow. 

He grunts when he sees that the stoplight has to count 150 more seconds before it turns green again, rolling his eyes. His hair’s just damp now, so he throws the towel by the back seat, turning to his passenger side again to grab his breakfast-- merely just an apple, diet’s a bitch, but it will do. He picks it up and throws it in the air only to catch it and take a bite- and he could still hear his mother faintly screaming to  _ not play with food,  _ but he can’t care enough when he slips his sight at his window, a glance too important to spare.

The car beside him. It’s black, untinted, vintage. Too familiar. It’s been too long since he’s seen a car like that, and he knows exactly who it belongs to. 

He chuckles at the absurd thought of Johnny being in Chicago, but when he looks back up, he sees a man staring right back at him, squinting as he slowly rolls his windows down-- and Jaehyun almost shouts at him to fuck off, but no, he’s too familiar-

“Johnny.”

The stoplight turns green, but no one moves. There’s blaring car horns behind them, a bunch of curses being thrown at the two immobile cars in the middle of a busy road.

“Jaehyun.”

Maybe fate never wanted them to meet at the bus stop.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh so what do y'all guys think anyways scream at me in twitter, i'm @ewwigom hehe


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